In light of International Men’s Health Week, we would like to pay tribute to all our male colleagues who we have had the honour of supporting at Keeping Well North West London. Some of our male staff members have kindly shared their experiences of our service below.
“Getting in touch with Keeping Well was fairly straightforward, it was more the internal battle that made it difficult to reach out”.
Describing himself as “quite stoic” and someone who “doesn’t like to make a fuss”, he also reflected that he viewed himself as “one of those blokes that took their mental health for granted… everything is fine, then it isn’t. I suppose it’s the expectation, the stigmatism and the stereotyping - you’re a guy, you’re meant to be the protector, you’re meant to be the provider. You’re not allowed to show vulnerability”.
It was further shared with that he found the experience of accessing support with the Keeping Well service to be “liberating” in being open about mental health. Reaching out and getting support from Keeping Well was “very helpful”, particularly the process of having an initial one-to-one appointment and signposted to support meeting his needs.
“I liked being pointed in the direction that could be most beneficial, but it still being my choice… I have to take that step”.
One suggestion made for employees included checking in with each other through questions including “How are you doing?” and having open conversations in the workplace about mental health to help people feel more comfortable.
“I think just as a community, we look at males in certain circumstances as being more dominant or being providers or not really expressing emotions… I think it’s ingrained in our society that as a male that you are to be this strong, dominant person; you are the person most people will turn to, especially if you are the only male in the family and there is this social and cultural expectation that you do not break down. For me personally, as somebody who works within mental health services, you have to practise what you preach to a certain extent to promote a sense of wellbeing and so you should take advantage of the services available to you in times of hardship.”
He shared that he had felt supported throughout the Keeping Well process.
“The assessment aspect of it was great. They asked all the correct questions and they’ve really listened to me as a person. They really took into account exactly what I wanted to get out of it – the kind of goals I had, the suggestions that I had for my own treatment pathway which I feel is really important when it comes to therapy. The consideration and the ideas that I had for my own treatment pathway as a good promoter for the actual process.”
In speaking of his experience with a North West London Talking Therapies Service our service had referred him to, he described this support as “amazing”.
“I think some of the techniques I learned and the procedural aspects of what I went through and the way it was managed was great. It really allowed me to take techniques both into my working and my personal life to be able to move past some of the things I was going through.”
“I would recommend not only Keeping Well to colleagues, but also therapy as a whole”.
Having referred to our service for support in relation to work-related stress, he reflected upon considering the importance of looking after himself in order to support others.
“How am I going to support others if I’m not looking after myself? I’m at the forefront of providing care, so I wanted to receive support to enable me to do my role better.”
“The process of getting in contact with Keeping Well was very easy. I remember hearing back from someone within 24-48 hours - it was all very fast and streamlined.”
“I also found it very engaging and supportive, like my hand was being held the whole way through the first call, the call to discuss the options and then agreeing on support. I felt really cared for. It didn’t feel like support came to an end just because of then getting support from Talking Therapies, I was encouraged to reach out again if needed… I found the whole process amazing.”
He highlighted some of the challenges men may face in reaching out to services like Keeping Well:
“We feel like we’ve got to take the weight on our shoulders. We don’t really want to share our struggles with anyone, but I come across a lot of men in my line of work who struggle with their mental health in some form.”
He expressed that it is really important for everyone to get support if they feel they need it and would “definitely recommend” the Keeping Well service to health and social care staff.
He came to hear about Keeping Well in his trust’s newsletter and decided to reach out for support with work-related stress.
“It was something I’ve had in the past, I developed my own techniques to deal with it…but I wanted proper strategies and techniques to deal with it from people who knew what they were talking about”.
He referred to Keeping Well specifically for the Burnout Group as it was “what I felt I needed”.
The value of peer support from the Burnout Group was important to him.
“Everyone is there for a reason, no problem is too big or too small. You are all in it together, it was so open and trusting and there was no judgement. Sharing was the best bit, from work problems to life stories, it all made a difference”.
“There’s people from way up in the NHS to much lower down, there’s no judgement, no seniority, we all have stuff going on, we helped each other as much as the facilitators”.
He felt that the group sessions have helped him in the long-term, reflecting that the main factor he took away from the sessions was learning how to unhook from unhelpful thoughts which has reduced rumination and improved his sleep.
“Everyone is going to take something different from it...that’s why it’s important that people did share and the facilitators were very understanding and welcoming”.
“I just wish [Keeping Well] was more known and shared. I don’t understand why it isn’t”.